What makes your best friend your best friend?

Well, this is my best friend... Her name is Melanie! The first picture is of us in a bathroom at a show. The band was lame and it was more awkward if anything, so we ended up in the bathroom. The second picture is of us before we worked in a haunted house. We had to scream at people and pretend to cry and stuff. These are the kinds of things we do. We're always coming up with something weird to do. For example, the other night we went over to this guy's apartment to hang out and make him a cake. Melanie and the guy(who will not be named to protect his identity) got drunk. Mind you, I've never met this guy before. He leans over to me and is like I have to tell you a secret. He tells me a secret, then proceeded to lick my ear. Haha. No cake was ever made. I spent the night at her apartment last night. She made me read a chapter out of I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell out loud before she went to sleep. It was disturbing. Good-Bye.

What is something that makes you melancholy?

Homeless pets.
Shit I don't know, lots of things.
It doesn't take much to make me sad.

I wrote this like two months ago.

back burner lover
why do we do this?
it's four in the morning
I can't sleep;
Mind Control
Thoughts
This name on my wrist is a constant-
Reminder
Arms-
I need yours around me.
It's been so long
I don't remember your scent
Anymore-
But I remember how your body
feels next to mine
Perfect
I want to devote everything to you
I want to be yours
truly yours
but it seems you will
Always be my
back burner lover

Drake-Fear

july 30th 2008

If only I could think of all of the right things to write here.
It's 2:27am on the 23rd of June. Do you know that in a little more than a month it will be 2 years since I saw you last? Did you know you broke my heart into a million little pieces? 2 years is a long time. You made this promise to me. You hugged me and we went our separate ways, with the following year in mind and our futures ahead of us. Did you know it would be like this? Thinking back I wish we had more time that day. I wish I had a picture, anything. I can't even remember the way you smell. But I do remember the way your arms feel around me. I remember the way you make me sick to my stomach and the way I go weak in the knees when you're around. A lot has changed in the past two years. We've both taken separate paths, new challenges, and gone through relationships. It really scares me to think that you and I might never see each other again. In a week, I'm turning 18. You won't be here, and that's fine, but I wish you were. I don't even know what to feel anymore. I feel like this what I have all of my faith, love, and attention invested in. I want it that way forever, but I want the same in exchange. You can never give me that. In my heart, I know I need to move forward in life, but I can't leave you behind. It's so complex. I want to hold onto you but you'll end up dragging me in only deeper. None of this is making sense. I'm going to sleep now. Figure things out, stop this.

Shit.

I had this dream last night. You were in it. We were in love again and all that shit. I don't know how to feel about it. I miss you, honestly, but I can't help but to resent you for your mistakes.

In June, I am going to drive 90 miles to see you. Is it going to be worth it? Or is it going to be the same old shit? I'm really thinking it's a bad idea. I need this, I think. I just need to see if there is still anything between us.

I feel like this is a chapter that didn't end before moving onto the next. What should I do? I'm just going for it. Whatever happens, happens.

I'm doin' me.

So, I love Drake so much. This song is catchy as hell. Drake as an artist drips creativity and talent. He's got it going for him. He's only 23 and already being called the legend.....


This song is called Over. This is the beginning to the song.

"""I know way too many people here right now
That I didn’t know last year, who the fuck are y’all?
I swear it feels like the last few nights
We been everywhere and back
But I just can’t remember it all

What am I doin’? What am I doin’?
Oh, yeah, that’s right, I’m doin’ me
I’m doin me
I’m livin’ life right now, mayne

And this what I’ma do ’til it’s over
‘Til it’s over
But it’s far from over….."""

In my opinion, the first line is relating to fame and how everyone wants to be associated with you because of your name, clique, and money.
I get that.
In the same way, sometimes I just wake up in the morning and think "what the fuck?"
It just seems like people keep entering and exiting my life on a day to day basis.
Why can't shit just stay stable? You know?

Life is moving so fast. I'm trying to take it all in.


Drake asks himself "What am I doing?"
His response is "I'm doin' me."
This is my problem. I put everyone in front of me. I do what I want to do last.
I care about others before myself. It's not a bad thing, it's just better in moderation.
So, now, I'm doing me. I don't care about others for the time people. I just need to focus on myself; my faith, my morals, my values, my relationships, my health, and my future.

Bandwagons full. Please catch another.