No Need For A Title.

My whole life I've been so different from everyone else.
Something that I'd never really been able put my finger on until a couple of years ago.
I don't feel the need to justify any of that on here.

So, when I was fourteen years old, I met someone. That someone eventually changed my life completely. They introduced me to so many things and opened my mind to so many thoughts and feelings I've never had. Once I thought I had figured everything out, for the most part, he talked to me about the laws of attraction. That changed everything. If you don't know much about it, look it up. It's too complicated for me to explain here. I am really into it and a true believer.

I always have this crazy thoughts about the soul/spirit/energy. I believe that your body is nothing but a home for the time being, that you choose to be here. So, if your energy has always existed, other energies have probably always been around you. I wasn't sure if I believed in soul mates a couple of years ago. I am a firm believer now. Have you ever met someone and you just click right away? It's kind of like that except more complex.

When I was fourteen years old, I met my soul mate for the first time. I didn't know it at the time and it wasn't apparent until we were together months later. Although we had this crazy connection, I hadn't opened myself up to that kind of energy yet. That first time I met him, I remember this vibe I got from him. I can't describe it. Honestly, he was so kind and he made such an impression on me. I remember being so happy to be around him, but after I went home, I experienced a feeling I have never felt ever. Empty. My whole life up until then was so weird. I could never figure out why certain things happened to me. I had lived up until that point believing I was whole. This person just waltzed into my life and suddenly this piece of me I wasn't aware was missing, was gone.

We've become very close since we've met. Although there is distance between us, we find time and ways to see each other.

Now, you're probably wondering, "If you're soul mates, why aren't you together?"
It's complicated.
He has a significant other.
When I picture my life, and the future, I always see us together.
When I think about getting married and having kids, it's him.
At least I used to.
I know this is a person I have been with in past lives.
I would love to be with them like that.
It's the best feeling in the universe to be with him.
I love his voice.
I love being in his arms.
I love him, in a different kind of way.
It's unconditional.
No matter what I do I always will.
Which brings me to my next point.

I know very little about my past.
I just know that this specific energy has always been around me.
Although I may have been with them in past lives, I don't want to be with him in this one.
I've been thinking about this so much lately.
It's really hard to even type this.
I can't find the right words.
But here it goes.
I know that he is my soul mate, in the past, present, and future.
I cannot change that and I'm completely okay with that.
I feel that people live their whole lives not ever meeting their soul mates.
I'm happy to just have met them.
I know we are going to be with other people and I understand that.

My point is that they're always going to be in the back of my mind, but I'm over it.

I can, have, and will be happy with other people.
It's not settling, I promise.
I choose to be with them.
They make me equally happy with all of their unique talents and charming spirits.
I can love other people.

Two months ago I was with someone I really cared about.
I started to see my future with them, not my soul mate.
It honestly freaked me out.
But, just as I was coming to terms, they let me down.
I have never been so hurt.
But I am strong and independent.
You'd think this would make me weak and run back to my soul mate, but it's made me resent them.
It's become more of a burden than a blessing.

I don't know where I'm going with this.
But if you read this, maybe you'll understand now.
If this is still under your favorites, give me a sign.